Planning,Planning,Planning

I am so excited about learning to pod cast, maybe the Tanglewood Website won't be the crappies one in the county next year. How cool.

Tonight I have plans to read George Singletton and write a little. Today I felt so inspired. It's nice to end inspired and not exhausted. Today I thought Kevin and Kim's presentations were such great endings to the class. I can invision how all these lessons can enhanve my units. I am going to begin with the unit: What ingredients make you who you are? I'm going to use the picture memoir lesson, children's book study, and the maping your favorite place all together to write memoirs/personal essays to start the year. Then, I'm going to use the Kevin idea/raft/read a book in an hour/ share allowd from that Beers book for writing a more in depth essay in the inquiry unit: What makes a survivor.

I'm so thankful for all the stuff I've learned! Next week, I'm going to sit by the pool and plan.

After the Institute

Whew. This was a busy day. I was so interested today to see how inspired classmates are about writing, particulalry ones that were hesitant just three weeks ago. In the midst of all this business, the supportive community built is carrying everyone along. I want my classroom to be that way. It makes so much learning possible.


Continuing to be involved in the writing project...
I don't know what I want to do exactly, but I would be happy for Sarah to do some of her research on my class.
I think there needs to be a UWP Wiki where people can upload their teaching ideas so we can have easy access. I could set that up.
I could help with media or the website.
I think I would like helping with YWC
I would like to study ways to use discussion with writing on my classes and present that.
I also want to start getting my masters.

Making a dent

After coming to Summer Institute, I feel like I have tons of ideas to take back to my classroom, but more importantly, I begin to see connections with all of the best practice in writing and I can evaluate my current lessons to make them better. I like the emphasis on teaching intentionally (not just standards based). I feel more confident. I will look for lessons that are worth being demonstrations, and I will aim for that quality of teaching. I will look for the common threads of: giving experience, inspiring writing, focusing on genre conventions, and writing with purpose. I will judge my students writing differently: as now I have been in their shoes.

As a writer, I have learned that I need time to write and revise if I want to seriously publish. It seems more like a will power than a talent issue. That is empowering. I have plans to publish in SCCTE and Skirt. I’d like to publish about my pen pal program in the SCIRA journal. I will make small goals and work towards them. I will make writing a priority (I hope) and let my school lessons grow from that.

I feel more confident about submitting proposals to present now that I have seen such an effective format demonstrated over and over. I also have learned about so many new avenues to see out opportunities to publish, etc. I hope to be more of a leader in the areas that really matter to me.

Today has been a blur of technology. I'm excited about what I learned about the Master's program and all the opportunities we will have in the fall. I am trying to figure out how much I can do and not be overwhelmed. I think this kind of learning is addictive. It is so motivating to continue to get new ideas. It gives me hope and confidence as a teacher, and makes me feel like maybe the challenges we face in the classroom are surmountable, or at least that we can make a dent.

Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart...

I am itching to write today. I have fun plans tonight. I'm going to A bar-b-que, and I would rather stay home and type. That seems both inspired and pathetic. I've been reading Cohlo's book "Eleven Minutes" a rather scandalous read about love and feminine sexuality, and I was inspired to write about my own (quite different) experiences with romance. I need a title: I keep coming up with cheesy 80's songs: Your love is like a roller coaster baby baby etc. It needs work.

Today I published some stuff and kept revising. That is such a tedious part of the writing process. I wish I was smart enough just to write something good the first time. But I'm glad people are willing to help me make stuff better.

I saw again the power of writing and sharing today as my writing group shared work and stories. We find, as we go deeper, beyond our surface level differences, that underneath it all we are much the same. And where it really counts, we can understand one another.

Young writer's camp was fun today. Sarah and I were talking to the 3 girls in our group, enjoying their writing. As we left, I said, "Wow, that is different." And Sarah replied, "It seems just the same." These little girls struck me as much like I remember being in middle school. They lit up when I asked about their brothers and sisters, their favorite field trips, and their summer plans. The students I teach are just as sweet, interesting, and fun. They just would have written completely differnt types of writing. They would talk about life in a very different way. I'm not explaining the differences well, I know, because I'm not sure of them. But I want to think on that. I think the difference is that upon meeting my students for the first time, they have very little to say. They don't have summer plans, their brother and sister situation is usually too confusing to tell a stranger. They would talk about TV. I need to find ways to expose my students to more ideas and experiences that make them light up like the kids at camp.

The Lights are Brighter There...

Today we went downtown. We sat in the park. We went to the Art museum, coffe underground, walked on main street. Inspiration is everywhere. I'm working on an article about how a city refelcts the personality/or affects the personalities of the people in it. How has Greenville made me who I am, I wondered as we listened to the lawnmower hum across the too perfect looking park this morning.

The most valuable part of the day: spending time with my writing group.

String around my finger

I love Socratic seminar. One of my goals for my classroom is to have professional conversation amongst my students every day and formal discussion once a week. I think this is a key part of inquiry and so much fun! I like the sticky notes idea. There are common themes in each demo, reading, and strategy we learn: activate the arts, respect the writing process, activate the varying learning styles, give kids experiences to write about, and form motivation by scaffolding and imagining to create authenticity. It does begin to feel like everything echoes everything else. While at moments that makes everything seem recycled, it is refreshing that these common themes support one another. It makes best practice seem less overwhelming. So I don't forget, here are some of the ideas for my classroom I'm going to use next year, that I might forget... - Make a cheat sheet of activation strategies, idea/prewriting strategies to pull from throughout the year -Discuss with socratic circles, town meetings, discussion in character..scaffold with jazz the text, found nonfiction poems, highlighting, and journaling, also with Wilhelm like activities
-Create experiences
-Create a book wiki, a class document blog, and link to my website


So I don't forget, here are some of the ideas for my classroom I'm going to use next year, that I might forget...
- Make a cheat sheet of activation strategies, idea/prewriting strategies to pull from throughout the year
-Make

Publishing

How exciting, to have so many great ideas for places to publish and grant ideas. I have a very long list of things to do now, and I need a longer list of people who are willing to edit my writing. Today I finished a professional piece and wrote a letter asking for support. I also began to conceptualize another professional piece about writing pen friend letters. That is really important to me, but I'm not sure how to put the project into words. Meanwhile, so excited about going to school, I am also excited about my writing. I feel like I need a longer summer to give my own writing time. How decedent. Now I just have to find time to fit all this excitement into a reasonable time frame.
It's so funny to begin the summer wanting a break, and a week into it, have more on my to-do with that has to-do with school.
I enjoyed our writing group today. I think making our video is going to be fun. Teri is good at the music, and I like movie maker, Annette is so honest in her writing and has such authentic ideas, and Linda is so willing to share. We are going to get more interview footage to really show what people have learned.

Writing

I wonder what the new techology will be as we sit here tinkering with movie maker, on the cutting edge of teaching tools. I hope that soon I am teaching with hollograms and video games. But I suck at video games.

Today I learned such useful stuff...political cartoons and writing with toys. They were such different ideas: one seems for young kids and one so advanced, but I could use both with my students. It is amazing what a little scaffolding will do, and how easy it is to differentiate. We, as grown ups, get so much out of these writing assignments. I wrote about the continental airplane...and haven't been that into a story in a long time. I think toys give us permission to use our imaginations.

Doesn't everybody do that?

Jeffrey showed up this morning, shirt too big, hair too long...ready for writing camp. In the wrong place. He was scared. nervous. "The only boy!" (He wasn't.) I worried about him. Will he get home okay? Will he have fun? Will he make friends?
Today I talked to Jessica outside at lunch, skittering from one subject to the next, reminding me of days in college when I met other people my age I could get to know. I miss that.
This weekend, I spent celebrating Father's day with my family. Showing them Reedy River Bridge. Searching for a present that will begin to show my dad how much I love him. My roommate spent the day shopping, distracting herself from missing her dad. And Mike spent it worrying because his dad is at Emory today getting his heart checked for blockages. Annete's brother in law is in surgery and so she is having trouble focusing today. Who wouldn't.

It makes you wonder: how do you write with all this stuff going on? Why do we write with all this stuff happening all around us as we click click click away.
So I've spent some of today thinking about relationships. What we mean to one another. What we can do for one another so we all don't feel so alone. The loneliness possible on the overcrowded planet is ironic and daunting.
My sister tells me that when I get overwhelmed, I need to think proactively. (She is a psychologist.) So I'm thinking about writing. About how when we share, we feel understood. About how it is hard, though, to stop typing your own story to listen to someone else's. I'm thinking about how important it is to honor the stories other people have. To ask questions. I believe in the power of sharing to help us learn, but also to build community. I'm glad that real life reenforces the importance of what we do every day from 9-5. We teach kids to reach out, to share, and to listen. Hopefully, it makes us all feel a little less alone.

Ron Rash is my hero

Writing in the Botanical Gardens, I began a piece about falling in love. I was prompted by listeing to pieces from my writing group members. I love hearing their stories. It seems that any first line that hints at romance has my attention. What would happen if I tried to write about falling in love? I love to compare our stories and look for the common truths.

Then Dawn read from "Blackberries in June," "On those August nights when no late-afternoon thunderstorm rinsed the heat and humidity from the air...(53)" I was half way through that story, after picking up the book the night before so I could familiarize myself with Ron. I knew where this story went...to my favorite kind of literature: complicated love, characters youlove and hate at the same time, and decisions that must be made that have no right answer. Ron Rash knows how to write a love story. I've been inspired by reading his stories. His characters are so real and complex. You end his stories scratching your head, nodding, and opening your eyes really wide. It must be funny to watch. There is nothing better than a southern tale of cynicism.

I read Ron's stories to familiarize myself, so to better ask more informed intelligent questions. The opposite happened. I loved his writing...maybe a little too much. When he walked in the door I couldn't look him in the eye. He seemed BIG TIME...George Clooney status. I didn't trust myself to speak in complete sentences.

I loved hearing Ron talk about his research and motivation. I love the thought he puts into his writing. I was also inspired by hearing him talk about the will or a writer...that your ideas are worthwhile...you just have to find out why.

Peanutbutter and thunder

I like being a student all day, coming to class and getting interesting things to think about. I've been thinking about mapping my own childhood backyard: with military forts in the woods, a garbage can parade route, a secret shed, a tree-house hotel, and a magical playground across the street.

I find myself noticing the small things in life this week...feeling more writing ideas. I hear a story in last night's thunderstorm, in my extra fiber pb and j sandwich, in my Thursday sleepiness.

Tonight, I hope I can read a whole Ron Rash novel. I'm excited about meeting him, and excited about being outside. My dream is to run a field trip school. Every kid should go on a field trip every friday!

What's my deal with feet?

I have written four things for this class. All are about feet. What does that say about me?
My favorite part of today was meeting with my writing group. Wow. We are all so different. Our writing will show what happens when you mix the opinions of cynics with believers in true love, rockers with southern, healthy eaters and lovers of cheese burgers. It helps me to be more accepting of my writing, as I see myself enjoying such an array of work from other people. I would like people to be a little meaner about my writing. It is hard to criticize each other when we don't know each other that well.

I am glad to have my teaching demo finished so I can concentrate on my writing. People were very supportive. Good feedback: add my name etc. to handout, explain my handout, and take more time on the writing portions. I wonder what I would take out to do this?

I really admire the teachers who are already planning to implement the strategies we are learning about. I like being in a group that enjoys discussing teaching as a practice. It's more fun than complaining about the woes of education (which is too often what teacher talk turns to).

First Post

I could feel the tension in the room when Jaime said we had to put our writing online. A tension that comes from fear. I felt so good though after my first post...not so much like I had written something great, but like I had conquered a fear. The fear of being read.

I wonder if each new audience is a new fear. I will write for my students, and my dad, but each new person I let into my world of writing brings new fears and highlights new insecurities.

Today went by quickly and I have spent the afternoon practicing my presentation in my mind. Other fears I have to confront are being highlighted, I guess. I've been mumbling to myself as I cleaned the house, revamping my presentation to try to make it relevant and comprehensible, not to mention entertaining. We have such a participatory, supportive group. That makes me feel better. I want my classroom to be like the writing project (I hope it is): a place where you feel like everyone is willing you to succeed and where differences are celebrated.

Writing with purpose...try 1

Now there is time to write. There are no excuses. There are no roommates talking to me about e-harmony. There is no Jeopardy in the background. There is time. There is paper. There is even a journal full of ideas to pull from. There is a hard drive of stories begun and abandoned. Now, what will I write? What will I spend my time on.
I have thoughts:
Saturday I went to Carowinds, and reevaluated my life as I clicked up the hills, contemplating my death.

Sunday I deiced I was going to be a quaker and spent the morning sitting silently in a circle waiting on God to speak and staring at other people's orthopedic shoes. I discussed the concepts of heaven and hell over lentil salad.

I started Pigs in Heaven, by Barbara Kingsolver and have been contemplating the concepts: love and luck, and equality...

But these are ordinary thoughts. The ordinary thoughts I'm always telling my students are enough. They are the stuff of life. So why do they all seem stupid to me?

My seemingly stupid ideas which I may write about:
A This I believe: I just have to figure out what I believe....maybe something about how you can't wait on everything to be perfect

A kid's story I've been working on about the princess and the Pee ( a bed wetting story)

Stories of exploring from when I was a kid...about my obsessive compulsive days maybe.

My writing group made me feel so much better. I loved reading their writing. It reminds me that author's aren't nearly as accepting as their readers. I still have to work on seeing myself as a writer, where my words have power, but I have already seen the power of the actual process of writing: of voicing ideas and worries, of sharing and being vulnerable, of being supported by others. I'm glad I get to do this with students. The process can change lives and build confidence. Our writing group already feels comfortable and important to me. I admire the strength I see in these women, who have been through so much more than me, and who will share. Someone has told me their secret to a happy marriage, and another the secret to a happy life. We share our struggles and our joys. It is very ya-ya. I have so much to learn. What do I have to share?

Visit to Carl Sandburg's Home

I woke up this morning and sipped a cup of coffee while I read the first page of a book by one of my favorite authors that I knew I would love before I opened the cover. I got to wear my blue jeans and my sandals, and think about whatever I wanted. I love summer. I hear others echoing my thoughts today. They mention relief, freedom and joy (though our conversation, oddly, keeps drifting back to our students, our teaching, and our past classes). I began to journal, excited that I could think about whatever I wanted...but what?

I found myself planning my first day of the 08 school year. Yet another page of my journal littered with plans instead of reflection. I get excited about planning and improving my teaching. I like to think about the promise of the next day of school, the next year. But the driving force of my obsessive planning is guilt. I get excited about the books I will read, the places I will go, the relaxation I will have taking care of only myself- and then I think of my students. I think of Sam's cramped 101 degree apartment with no air conditioning and no car. There are so many like him: with no free lunch, no vacations, and no gas money. The disparity between my circumstances and those of my students is highlighted by all the opportunities I have. I never feel like I do enough to begin to meet the needs of my students.

I know my guilt is a waste of time and opportunity. I am excited about a summer of freedom to think, to rediscover myself as a writer and not just a teacher of writing, but now that I have the freedom to think I have to figure out what it is I want to think on. What matters? What will make my teaching life changing instead of just affective? What will make my writing more than just frivolous scribbles? What can I do to close the gaps between the opportunity I see in the world and the walls of limitations my students often don't see beyond?

I see the angst of the disparity I feel echoed in Sandburg's work. Living in a former slave owner/factory owner's grand home in the segregated south, he wrote to foster equality and human rights. I wonder if he felt the irony of his privilege against the backdrop of his causes.
I was so confused by Sandburg's poems upon my first readings: why was the obvious delight of nature is juxtaposed with complex, barely articulated questions that nature asks or that the speaker asks of nature. For example, in "Bluebird, what do you feed on?" the speaker pleads, "Bluebird we come to you for facts,/ for valuable/ Information, for secret reports./ Bluebird, tell us, what do you feed on?" In "Stars" the speaker laments, "Stars are so far away they never speak when spoken to." The beauty of nature at Sandburg's home, which inspired many of his poems, is palpable. So are the questions the beauty raises. Why am I privileged enough to see these miracles? What message is hidden in the beauty? Now I see that Sandburg worked to capture these questions, if not the answers in his poetry.
So, 'enough feeling guilty, look for the answers' I thought today as the birds' songs and the waterfall's hum called me to trust in a peace and order larger than my own abilities and limitations, 'be like Sandburg.'



Early Summer


Slip off my sandals.
Drizzle my toes in dew.
Run further, till my breathing drowns out the highway's hum.


Uncork my fermenting brain to fizz, bubble, and remember
Night swims, burning pavement, sopping car seats,
Peach pits and horse rides.


Reapply sunscreen.
Peel by the pool.
Let my hair air dry frizzy.


Listen in the lull of conversation.
Look for the micro-metaphors, not cliche.

Slipping off my sandals,

I wiggle my toes.
Standing on holy ground,
I search for burning bushes.